day by day.

I’ve tried so many times to find my identity and self-worth in things that I shouldn’t.  Too many times have I looked for worth in ways that don’t last.  I guess I can be a “people-pleaser” sometimes.  A lot of the time.

God is showing me this.  And He is showing me just how foolish it is.  He is showing me that HE is my identity.

I am a child of God

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.

1 John 3:1

I am redeemed & forgiven

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom & understanding.

Ephesians 1:7-8

I am a new creation

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

I have received fullness in Christ

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, & you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power & authority.

Colossians 2:9-10

I am made to declare His glory

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:9

I am actively pursuing Him, and claiming Him as my identity.  Father made me the way I am for a reason, and I want to use this life He gave me for His glory.  Whatever that means.  But I can’t glorify Him if I am finding “joy” & “worth” in ways that will never satisfy.

Right now, I am enjoying being the me he made me to be, and it is sweet.

Hopefully, I am getting a kitten tomorrow.

Just another step.

I’m not sure how biblical it is to say “God is calling me to this one specific place”, I struggle with that thought a lot.  But one thing I do know…  God is not done using me in Japan.  If that means I will live there one day, or if it’s just one more missions trip there, I don’t know.  But the burden He has given me for this country & its people has never left.  I keep thinking of H-san who knows the Gospel, but just hasn’t accepted it yet.  I want him SO badly to know Jesus.  I think of the millions who do not know the name of our Father, and it literally breaks my heart.  I want to go and tell Japanese about Him.  I want to love the Lord with all of me in Japan, & love the Japanese with all of me.

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

I have to go back.  I have to go.  Father very well could change my heart, and steer me in another direction.  And I would be okay with that.  I trust Him.  But right now, He has directed me towards Japan.  I pray that I will follow Him with all I’ve got, throwing aside all hindrances so that I may be obedient to Him alone.

…for those whose HOPE is in the name of the Lord.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them- the Lord, who remains faithful forever.

Psalm 146:5-6